16 Weeks, 4 Days
March 12, 2018
Dear Animal Cracker,
Well aren’t you getting big? In the last week or so, I can suddenly feel everything. I can feel every ounce of my bladder, stomach, intestines, kidneys and liver. All because my uterus is now the size of a Mac truck. This is not actually true, Google says it’s only the size of a papaya but I’m pretty sure Google has never been pregnant, so what does it know? I forgive you though, because you’re really cute right now, with your tiny hands and your little nose.
You gave your daddy and me a big scare yesterday, little one. You woke me up at 6 (thanks for that) telling me it was time to pee, and you were not happy. I went pee in the dark and noticed things weren’t quite right, so I flipped on the light and there was blood in the toilet bowl.
My heart sank for you, you know. You worried us a bit just after 14 weeks, but I knew that time it was old blood, and probably nothing to worry about, and the doctor confirmed that. Daddy was terrified all day before he found out you were okay. I told him that it’s the bright red stuff we have to watch out for. Well yesterday morning, I did NOT want to tell your daddy, but I knew we had to go to the hospital. I wasn’t cramping, and I didn’t feel any pain, but I also have felt you move yet, and I’m going to stay on edge until I do. I hoped more than anything that you were okay, and the look on your daddy’s face when I said we had to go to the hospital was heartbreaking.
He was so brave and strong all day, not letting me know how scared he was. He didn’t want me to be stressed out, to make anything harder on my body than it needed to be, before we knew anything at all. He kept me distracted for hours with Trivia Crack and fail videos on Facebook, and from about 6:20 AM to 10:00 AM, he kept me laughing and had my mind off of things. Your daddy is awesome you know, and I must be so lucky, because not only do I have him, but I also have you. That’s 1 and a half Thomas and typically more than anyone can handle but it fits me just right! Anyways, the doctor finally came in to talk to us, take some blood, and do a pelvic exam, and this is when daddy gets really nervous, because this is when the answers start coming in. So now it’s my turn to make him laugh, I crack jokes, and I try to make him smile, and I tell him everything is going to be okay because we have worked so hard to keep you, our little Animal Cracker. The doctor tells us she needs to send us for an ultrasound, to see where the bleeding is coming from and to make sure the baby is coming along okay, and then she leaves the room.
Daddy had to step out into the hall to call his boss and tell them what’s happening, because God be damned, daddy will be there for you whenever you need him, no matter what, and in his job, that isn’t always easy. While daddy is away, a nurse comes into the room with a baby heart rate doppler, because the doctor hopes that you’re okay too, and wants to check if we can hear you. The nurse tries and tries, and just when I’m about to lose it, we hear you. Your little heart is beating hard and healthy and I’m going to explode. We call daddy back in and the look on his face when he hears that you’re okay, I swear it split the Earth and only good came out.
We didn’t get to see you on the ultrasound, but that’s okay, your measurements are right on track and you’re healthy and bouncing around in me as always, and that’s all we need. The doctor says I’m bleeding where the placenta latches onto the uterine wall, and that it’s normal, and it won’t hurt you, and it will go away in a couple of days. I’ve already noticed the bleeding subside, and turn from that bright red to brown. These are all good signs, and I’m still not cramping or feeling any discomfort.
The next couple of days, you and me are taking it easy okay? We’re going to eat some popcorn, watch some funny movies, and just be you and me and the pups while we wait for daddy to come back home. Daddy had to go to Tacoma today, for ten whole days and so I’m going to try not to be miserable and lean on you for some happiness, okay? But guess what? I learned the other day that at 18 weeks, you’ll start to hear, and that’s the same day daddy comes home! How exciting is that? You won’t really respond to his voice or really learn it until 25 weeks, but he’s already started talking to you everyday, so you’ll get to hear it lots as soon as he comes home!
A lot more is happening between now and our next ultrasound, that’s when we find out your gender! We should be able to feel you soon, and I know it’ll only be slight at first, and I’m not really sure what I’ll feel when it happens, so I’m excited! Maybe I’ve already felt you, and you’re just so little that I don’t know. I hope that by the time Thomas gets home we’ll feel something!
Well little Animal Cracker, mommy has to go eat something, you’re hungry again.
I love you,