14 Weeks, 2 Days
February 25, 2018
Dear Animal Cracker,
You are 14 weeks and 2 days old today. This week your body will be able to pee. You are probably peeing inside of me right now, and let me tell you, that is not okay. To make me feel better about this, you MUST pee on your Daddy EVERY time he changes your diaper okay?
All’s fair in love and parenthood.
A lot of your other organs are working hard, and starting to do their jobs, which is pretty amazing. You are a little human with working parts. So far, in the last week or so, my energy levels have NOT come back, in fact I think you’re making me more tired than ever. I have to pee just as much, and still no nausea! Oh, but thanks for all the back fat, I really appreciate it.
My belly is showing a little more lately, and by a little more, I mean I had to do up my dual button jeans the other day with a bellybelt and a hair elastic. I’m pretty sure that maternity shirts are my new favourite thing because I don’t have to worry them riding up. Pretty sure I’m going to keep wearing them longer after you’re out of me.
Now let’s get real. You know what I’m talking about. For the last two years, I’ve had your daddy fooled. Mum doesn’t fart. It’s yicky and he has no proof that I do it, there’s no evidence. But you are ruining this charade for me. RUINING IT. You have woken up Daddy 3 nights in a row this week, because you are making me fart while asleep. This is not okay, and I would like for you to cut it out, because this will be all I have left. Once the cankles come in that’s it honey. That’s it.
I love you.